Last Friday morning (July 8, 2005) I happened to catch a National Public Radio report about the war in Northern Uganda and its effect on the current generation of children. This civil war started when we lived in Sudan in 1986 and was a large part of our work for peace in Uganda in the 1990’s. Then, as now, a military solution is not working and the only result has been the destruction of the lives of children caught on the front lines between the rebels and government soliders. It is estimated that possibly 20,000 children have been captured by the rebels since 1986. Commentator Leroy Sievers suggests the solution to this crisis lies at the peace table. He points out that “ending the war may not be strategically important, it is morally imperative.” Listen to the NPR report.

Below is the letter I wrote to my mother on Mother’s Day 1997 from Uganda remembering the lives of young women abducted in this civil war. Their lives and the lives of the nuns who are still there working and teaching are not forgotten.

Dear Mother:

Some things in my life I will never forget. I will never forget the way you wept on the day I left for six years in Africa. At that moment, I caught a glimpse of how much a mother could love a daughter.

Last week, I met two Ugandan women I will never forget. In October last year, Ugandan rebels broke into St. Mary's Women's College in northern Uganda and abducted 149 young women, intending to march them to Sudan. The headmistress, an Italian nun, gathered as much money as she could and followed the rebels into the bush. She pleaded with them to release the girls in exchange for money. The rebels were not interested. She offered herself in exchange for the girls. They refused. The rebels then decided to sort through the abducted girls, keeping the "tall, light-skinned, beautiful ones" and releasing the other 119 to the nun.

The two Ugandan women I met last week had their first-born daughters among the 30 girls who were not released. They were marched to Sudan and have since become "wives" of the rebels. The Catholic community now holds a day of prayer on the first Saturday of each month with the parents of those young women. They also remember the many other young girls and boys abducted over the past 10 years. These children were forced to become rebels' "wives" or sold as slaves. We've heard estimates of 3,000 Ugandan children abducted in this way in northern Uganda.

There is much in this world I will never understand. I will never understand man's inhumanity to man. I will never understand fully a mother's love for her child. I will never understand what it is like to lose a child to death or to crazed rebels.
I am thankful for this one thing this Mother's day: that you will never know what it is like to have your 14-year-old abducted by rebels--to wonder if she is alive or dead, to wonder if she has been raped, to wonder if she has been forced to kill in order to stay alive, to wonder if she will be caught in a cross-fire between rebels and government soldiers. I am blessed knowing that no matter how I die at this point in my life, even if I die a violent death, you have seen your first-born daughter live, laugh and love. You have been her friend, advisor and confidant. You have celebrated her marriage, and you've watched her walk with God on this earth.

I will never give birth to a daughter, but maybe I can learn how to love my nieces and other "daughters" as those nuns love. Maybe I can give my life to pray, fast and work so that all daughters in this world will only see peace and goodness.

Sincerely,
Pam

This article was distributed by Mennonite Central Committee in April, 1997. Pam Ferguson and her husband, Ron, directed MCC's Uganda programs from 1991-1997.

Uncle Abram Brown, Mississippi 1863

When Elkanah Beard was 24 years old he began a journal. Not because he thought he would be famous one day and that his writings would be published, but because he felt that he wanted a future reference to the working of the Holy Spirit in his life. At that time he was involved in the mercantile business and found that he had little time or energy to read, pray and meditate like he felt he should. He wrote “ I often feel deep remorse of conscience for having neglected that for which I was created”.

The first entries of his journal told about his life, his family, his marriage to Irena Johnson in 1852, and his vocations of teaching and business. Over the next 5 or 6 years, Elkanah began to work himself out of his business. At the first of June 1863, Elkanah wrote in his journal: “I have been under a religious engagement of mind for several months, to spend some time as a missionary among the colored people encamped on or near the Mississippi River who have been lately liberated from Slavery.......I feel very much cast down under the weight of this concern....it being so momentous and my abilities the poorest of the poor....but believing that my present and future happiness depends on my faithfulness to [God].” A few weeks later Elkanah found himself ready to join a trip planned by New Garden Quarterly Meeting to travel south to help the large number of slaves liberated by the Union Army. On June 17, 1863 Elkanah departed for a 6 week tour of refugees camps along the Mississippi River. On June 29, 1863 in Helena, Arkansas Elkanah met and talked to a freed gray-headed slave named Uncle Abram Brown. Elkanah wrote this man’s story in his journal to preserve a record a remarkable piety and prayerfullness under very adverse circumstances. This is the story.

Abe was 73 years old and had just been freed as a slave. Born a slave in 1790, his first Master was very kind to him. This master became involved in debt and had to put some of his slaves on the auction block to sell to the highest bidder. Abe was 24 years old at that time, strong and robust and in good health. Consequently he was bought by a man whose business it was to buy slaves and he chained Abram to a gang of slaves and marched them to Tennessee. Up on another auction block, Abram was sold to a cotton planter named Brown. Mr. Brown was a member of the Methodist church and a owner of an extensive plantation and 100 Negroes. Mr. Brown also made great pretensions of religion, contributed largely to the support of the church and was regular in his devotional exercises at home or abroad.

Abe had a difficult time in his new home and did not find it agreeable. He was allowed fellowship with all the other slaves because he obeyed all the orders given to him without muttering or complaining and he always made sure his tasks were done in time. Abe began to imagine in his mind ways to make his life better and more comfortable. He was encouraged to use the female slaves for his own pleasure by his master with the hopes of breeding more slaves. Abram said that he soon decided that he wanted to keep himself entirely free from that sin. He said “not that I had a regard for the laws of God or the welfare of my soul, but secretly felt that I wanted no children to trouble my head about who would without doubt be sold at the age of 10 or 12 and shipped south. I hated the religion of the Slaveholder and was disgusted at Maters prayers which I often heard cause he told us was had no souls and that the prayers of a black man never went higher than the brayen of a mule.”

When Abe was 30 he had the opportunity to go to a camp meeting in the neighborhood with the Brown family. At that meeting his soul was awakened and he became convinced that there was a religion for the black man as well as the white man. This brought a change to Abe and sobered him about his own life and his eternal life. Mr. Brown observed that Abe looked thoughtful and sad and feared that Abe caught a spark of light from the ministry. In Mr. Brown’s eyes, that would render Abe useless as a slave. So Mr. Brown resolved that Abe would not be able to attend any more campmeetings. In addition, this good Methodist plantation owner told all of his slaves that it was preposterous for them to assume to be religious or even attempt to call upon the high and holy name of the God who made heaven and earth. That was a privilege of white men only. A Negro’s highest attainment was to obey his master’s orders and revere him.

In spite of that warning, the spark of God in Abe’s soul was kindled to a flame that night and at midnight, Abe met God in a powerful way alone in his cot. His soul was filled with a Godly fire and he rose from his cot and began to vocally magnify the name of Jesus. He thanked God for giving him evidence that his sins were forgiven. Abe said “before I got up off my knees I prayed to the good Lord that he might bless the colored people everywhere and free them from all their sins and from their yoke of bondage.”

God heard Abe’s prayers, as did Mr. Brown. The next morning Mr. Brown gathered all his slaves together to hear a lecture about what a wonderful and good master he thought he was and how happy they would all be if only they would take his advice. Mr. Brown then addressed Abe and said “Abe, you rascal you. I was awaken last night by all your loud noise and I will make an example of your prayers.” He then ordered Abe stripped of all his clothing and tied him down to receive 250 lashes for trying to pray and for asking the Lord to set them free from their bondage. All the time the overseer and master were applying the whip to Abe’s back, Abe never opened his mouth and bore the pain with courage. Not a groan or a murmur escaped his lips.

This event stopped Abe from vocalizing his prayers, but he prayed in his heart and day by day he drew near to God in the secret of his soul. He occasionally slipped away into deserted places in the woods where he cried out and told Jesus all of his longings. Abe said “I always went mighty hungry out there, but the blessed Jesus filled my soul brim full before I came away.”

Not too many years after this flogging, Abe decided to marry a wife. He hoped and prayed that the woman he chose would be modest and moral. It was not very long after their marriage that she proved not to be and took up with another man and left Abe. He remained single until the end of his days.

Life for Abe seemed mostly peaceful until Mr. Brown and all his slaves moved to Mississippi in 1859. Abe had just reached his 69th year, he was silver haired, and his vision was dim, yet he was permitted to stay in a small cabin to himself and was put to basket weaving, a trade he learned at night when he was a boy, and had become quite proficient in. Mr. Brown ordered a basket made for his wife. Abe worked hard on the basket and expected that maybe his master would offer him praise for his work as all the other slaves had done when they saw the basket that Abe made for the Misses. On the morning that the basket was complete, Mr. Brown came to Abe’s door and took the basket, turned it over and over in his hand looking for a defect. Finally he found a little split on the bottom of the basket that stuck out 1/2 inch and Mr. Brown took his faithful servant to account for this mistake.

Abe pleaded “ Master, I’ve gotten old and my eyes are failing so, I didn’t see the mistake!”. Mr. Brown replied, “Abe, I’ve been watching for a chance to give you a whipping for a long time, now strip your clothes.”

When Abe was nude, he was tied over a log and the master used a cowhide whip to lash him 40 times. At the end, Abe exclaimed “O Lord, have mercy on me a sinner.” At this the wrath of the master was raised and he called for assistance. The lash was given to Abe with even greater determination and at every stroke the blood gushed forth from the deep gashes until Abe had been given over 300 lashes in total. (Elkanah Beard testified that the gashes weren’t even healed at the time he met Abe, 3 years later.) When the lashing stopped, Abe cried out again, “Lord, pity me and have mercy on Master though he have none on me.”

Anger belched forth from Mr. Brown soul and he said “You damned, infernal fool, I tell you to pray to me and not think or say a word about God.” In the midst of unbelievable pain, Abe was full of confidence and hope and replied: “Oh, the blessed God hears me and know I love him and that I tried to serve you as well as I could.”

The other slaves began to encourage Abe to pray to the master to forgive him for calling upon the name of the Lord, saying “He’ll kill you if you don’t!” But Abe’s faith was not shaken. He received too many blessings at the hand of the Lord in answer to prayer to withdraw his trust or allegiance to God.

Mr. Brown ordered another 100 lashes to be given to Abe and then sat down nearby to keep tally. Once the number was completed, and before the thongs could be untied that held Abe to the log, a weak, yet firm voice from Abe said, “Now master, I prayed to God all the time you had me beaten to forgive you all your sins and I expect to keep praying and praising the blessed Jesus long as I lives.”

Abe was too weak to walk or stand and was carried to the house, washed in salt and water, greased and rolled up in a blanket where he lay several weeks almost helpless.

This story was witnessed to by several who were present at the telling of this tale by Uncle Abe to Elkanah Beard. After the telling of this story, Elkanah asked Abe several questions:
“How do you think that we should worship God?” Abe replied: “The good book says God is a Spirit and all that worship Him does it in the spirit and in the truth too.”
“Is it right then for us in our own will to set a time to preach or pray?” Abe replied: “ I guess not, though it is mighty fashionable now days for people to be praying long and very loud, makes me think of them Pharisees that Christ said only pretended.”
“Are they not past redemption who buy and sell human beings and would, if it were in their power, to forever crush down the colored man? Abe replied: “I expect some of them is, but God has a mighty big store of mercy and lets a heap of folks repent just before they die,”
“Well, are we to pray for them who treat us so cruelly?” Abe replied: “Christ say so, so I believe he knowed, and that what makes me think so. I never felt no happier than when I could in truth pray for my baddest enemy.”

Elkanah and Irena Beard spent the next 6 years traveling from Indiana to Vicksburg helping with freed slaves in refugee camps and establishing schools, orphan asylums, and settlements. Irena worked alongside Elkanah teaching, sewing, and helping with medical needs. Both spent much time preaching and ministering to all whom they came in contact, freed slaves, other church workers and military personnel. They returned to Randolph County in 1869 and shortly after offered themselves to the London Missionary Society for service in India where they spent time teaching and preaching from 1870-1873. In May of 1873 they moved to Winchester, IN at the request of Thomas Moorman, Thomas Ward and other Winchester Quakers to preach the gospel and organize a new Friends Meeting within the city limits.

MIKE CAREINS MAY 2005

Mike was 48 years old, a simple man who struggled to read and write. We met him in the local jail in 2002 where he came faithfully each week to worship. The first thing we received in the mail from Mike shortly after we met him was a magazine photo of a clay pot being made by potter. He used it to thank Ron for coming to the jail each week to teach him about being shaped into God’s image like a potter shapes clay. Mike had not completed high school and his letters were very simple, but he was slowly working to get his graduate equivalent diploma. Even through the simple letters, his grasp of God’s redemption and his joy of God’s work in his life were always evident.

When the escaped prisoner from the jail broke into our home in the spring of 2003, Mike was devastated. He feared we would not return to the jail, and when we did, he apologized for what this young man did to me, to our home and the damage this incident did to our trust for those we worked with in the jail. For some reason, Mike’s apology meant much to me in the first days of trauma after the break-in. Mike’s sincerity and concern helped me deal with that incident in my life.

Several months later, Mike wrote a letter to our meeting. These are his words from this letter, written in block letters with grammar and spelling errors:

To Winchester Friends Church Members
Hi. My name is Mike Careins. I want to thank you and bless you for letting your pastor Ron Ferguson and his wife Pam to come to the Randolph County Jail. To talk to me and other men in Jail. Pam talking to the women in Jail. I look forward on Wednesday to 10:00 AM to 11:00 AM talking to Ron. Seeing Pam and telling her hi in the hallway in the Jail. Ron talk to us about Renovare (to renew). Ron tell us about potter and the clay. (Jeremiah 18:2-6) to put life in the hand of God. Let him renew our life. I let God do that on January 24, 2002. I ask God to renew my life. Let Jesus Christ in to my heart. That I believe that Jesus Christ died for my sin on the cross and raised from the dead. So I could be saved and have everlasting life. I made promise to God and myself to not ever walk away from him ever again. I see God in way that I have never seen before. I put God first in every thing I do. I pray for all kinds of things too. I pray for all kinds of people I know and do not know. I pray for you the church and Ron and Pam. I have talk to other men in Jail about God, Jesus, church and the bible. I invite him to go to church and talk to Ron. I would like to invite you to the jail and go with Ron to church in jail or Pam too. There are a lot of good men in Jail. They make wrong choices in life. They need your prayer to make good choices in their future life. I tell them not to go back to their old friends and do the old thing they did before. I tell them to get involved in a good church and make new friends that will help them. I tell them to say NO to the devil and YES to God. That is what I do. So I invite you to get to know someone in Jail and pray and help that person make the right choices in their new life. I would like to come to your church on Sunday but I cannot do that tell I get out of jail. Tell them the empty seat in first or second row up front in your church is saved for me. Some day I’m going to be in that seat. I’m going to standup and praise God for what he has done for me. I would like to go to your church every Sunday when I get out of jail. I will be living two hours or more away. I have a church where I will be living to go to. I will come visit your church and stay in touch with Ron and Pam. I want to visit a lot of churches, hospitals, nursing homes, shut in and jails to talk and pray for them. I want to tell you that God is in the Randolph County Jail. The Sheriff Jay Harris is a Christian a lot of his jail staff are Christians too. The Gideon come on Monday to the Jail and pray for us. They talk about the bible, God and Jesus. Some of the inmates in jail are Christians too. So God is in this jail. I’m looking forward to come to your church someday and meeting all of you.

May God be with you. God bless you. Thank you. Mike Careins.

Over a year ago Mike was taken into the prison system and sent to Plainfield Correctional Facility. His first letter was filled with excitement about being able to go to church everyday and about starting bible studies and prayer meetings. I was really moved when he wrote that “every night we have a prayer circle. Sometimes there are 6-8 men in the bible study and prayer circle. We do this in the day room of our dorm. When all of the other men are doing their own thing. We block out all the noise and everything they are doing and we let God take control of our prayer circle.” Mike appreciated getting our church newsletters and he esp. liked the story of the pipe organ last summer. He wrote “one day I will come see and hear your church pipe organ.” Mike’s last letter to us was just before Easter. He told us that he would be out of prison a year from this week. He said he was still telling new and old inmates about Jesus and the Bible. My last letter to Mike was returned just after Easter with “deceased” written on the envelope. Mike was helping the prison chaplain prepare for Easter services when he fell over and died in the chapel.

Two weeks ago we got 4 letters in the mail from inmates at Plainfield. They found our address in Mike’s bible and wanted to send letters of testimony about Mike’s life to someone who could get letters to Mike’s family. I understand how they felt, because I felt the same way. When I learned of Mike’s death, my first response was to find his family or his children to tell them about my relationship with Mike. Mike had such a profound affect on me and was such an encouragement in my walk with Christ; I wanted to share that with someone. I wanted people to know that Mike was actively involved in redemption at the moment of his death. I wanted them to know that Mike would not be forgotten and that much good came out of the shambles of his life.

In one of the letters from these inmates, we were told about a man coming to Mike during mealtime and complaining that Mike did not speak to him when he walked by earlier that day. Mike replied: “I was probably in a hurry to tell somebody about Jesus”. Another inmate wrote: “Mike helped me tremendously and was always there for me. (He was there for everybody). Not matter what. To lend a hand, to laugh with or to study with, you could count on Mike. I was becoming close to Mike and I longed to be like him. He was always happy, never troubled, and trustworthy.”

I personally will miss having Mike join us for worship. Mike was in prison for horrible crime. His crime damaged people and relationships. Mike was not able to actively work for the restitution of his crime to the victims or the community. He was not able to repair the relationships he damaged. Yet in spite of his sin, Mike did know and experience God’s forgiveness and God’s love. He didn’t wait until he was out of prison to make things right or to change his life. He made God visible where he was on a moment by moment basis. God was in jail and in prison because God lived through Mike’s life. Mike made a difference in our world and he encouraged others to allow God to make them new creatures. Mike found the reason for which he was created. I pray I can do the same. And I will not let Mike’s life and testimony be forgotten.

In 1862, 29 year old Elkanah Beard, who later became the first pastor of our meeting, wrote in his diary that he had decided to quit the mercantile business because it did not admit to give as much time for reading, meditation and secret prayer as would be best, and because his conscience bothered him for neglecting that for which he was created. One purpose for our creation is to praise and worship our creator. Each week our community gathers for worship, to do that for which we are created. It is a gift to be in worship with the community of Winchester Friends. I know Mike longed to worship with this community of believers. Let us not neglect that for which we are created and let us leave worship each week changed people because of our worship and because of being in the presence of God’s spirit. There is much work to be done to make God’s kingdom visible in Winchester.